My original post date for this was on August 20, 2008
What is life but a sequential series of events... or is it? Some people may rely on a force that is larger than they to bring them to their ultimate potential. There are those who think they are what makes the earth rotate day in and day out, and then, there are people like me... people who are somewhere in the middle of this grand scale. All I want is to do what I can to control my life into the direction I most want to go in. Why then does it sometimes seem like no matter how hard you try to walk down one path, you end up either walking backwards, or switching paths unexpectedly? And can you get back onto your ideal path? What about if the odds are grim, or maybe you are going through a detour to get you back on track?
Whatever the case, I still have to ask, What is Life, and what do I want my life to be? I can honestly say that I want to be remembered...remembered as someone who was able to do something of great impact, so that tomorrow will rise with dissipating tension... if only for a while. Regret, slip-ups, failure, I don't find any reason to fear things like this, because I'm here to learn, not just in the class room... not just from your first job, but until I breathe my last breath and use the very last of my senses. Is the theme of my current age group reckless fun? well... if it is, I'd like to put that to question. Because I feel like I'm quickly rising to the challenge of the past, that I can be well equipt to fight through for the future that I want. I'm so blessed to have all that is here with me, and I honestly couldn't ask for anything to have gone any differently, because it is the here and now that will see me to my future goals... They are high... kinda, really high, but I'm not worried about that. I've found my secret happiness, which doesn't consist of finding another 'half' to try and piece together, nor is it by putting others down, or putting them on pedistiles and picking at every little thing. All I can say is that you are the only person who can truly guarantee your happiness, and so I've tapped into it, and you know what...it actually works! Material possessions can only take you so far, that's when the allure of your connection to the world, to those around you, and to yourself have to step up to bat. I'm not hear to have a grand party life while at school, nor am I going to watch while certain people rise above me. I mean some deserve the good fortune that they work for, but not everyone has to work for a good life, and there are some who did nothing wrong, but are in worse shape at the age of 5 then I ever will be. Good, Bad, ...whatever you want to label it, life... can't be explained in terms of what you do in life, but by HOW you go about what you do. I've got a burning passion to use the time I have to the fullest, and who knows... I may actually reach my (very high) goals in time... because I don't exactly know what life is. I think it would be amazing to be able to define life for yourself, and not have to refer to an dictionary, or someone else's philosophy to find out the answer to life. Wouldn't you?
§hawntal<3
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